Watching Star Trek TNG
by mynamemattersnot
Summary: After the events of Nemesis, Q convinces some of the crew to watch Star Trek and they agree.
1. Encounter at Farpoint

**Chapter 1: Encounter at Farpoint:**

 **Author's Note: I always wanted to do a story like this myself so I hope it's good.**

Picard had just talked to B4 and while it gave him hope that the android would one day become sentient himself, it also reminded him that nothing and nobody could replace Data and it made him sad. Still tired from facing off with his clone, Picard attempted to go through old records and organize them. Then, Q appeared.

"Q, what are you doing?" Picard asked outraged.

"Relax captain, I'm only here to show you something." Q replied.

"What could you possibly want to show me."

"Oh, it's just a little show that's about you and your crew called Star Trek and before you say no. Troi and Riker already agreed to watch it with you. If you don't, I might tip your girlfriend or whatever you want to call her that you need some rest."

"Okay Q, but if this is one of your gam-"

"I assure you this is no game." Q said before snapping his fingers and bringing Picard to a little theater where Riker and Troi were already seated.

He sat next to them, "So how did Q convince you to come here?"

"He promised Deanna there'd be chocolate." Riker joked.

"No he did not!" Troi argued, "I'm was interested in seeing us and I had the time."

"Yeh, I just hope Q doesn't try anything."

"Q, may be annoying, but I can sense he's being truthful."

The episode of Star Trek called Encounter at Farpoint began to play on the screen and Picard looked up at the screen disbelievingly as he heard himself record a captain's log, "Captain's log, Stardate 41153.7. Our destination is Planet Deneb IV, beyond which lies the great unexplored mass of the galaxy. My orders are to examine Farpoint, a starbasebuilt there by the inhabitants of that world. Meanwhile I'm becoming better acquainted with my new command – this Galaxy USS Enterprise. I'm still somewhat in awe of its size and complexity. As for my crew, we are short in several key positions, most notably a first officer, but I'm informed that a highly experienced man, one Commander William T. Riker will be waiting to join the ship at our Deneb IV destination."

"Is this for real?" Picard asked.

"It is one hundred percent real. This show was made back in the twenty-first century and it depicts the actual events of the twenty-fourth century Enterprise. Well almost." Q replied.

"How is that even possible?"

"It's just for entertainment. Don't take it so serious, mon captain. Besides how should I know? I just think it's a joy to watch."

"I thought you were all knowing."

"I am all knowing. Watch the show. You're ruining it with useless conversation."

Picard became quiet and the show continued. In the show, Picard mentions the word "snoop" and Data looks confused. Picard, Riker, and Troi couldn't help but feel a little sad after seeing Data on screen but they all remained quiet.

Data asked what the word "snoop" meant.

Picard said that it means "to spy, to sneak."

Data responded, "Ah, to seek covertly, to go stealthily, to slink, slither, creep, skulk, pussyfoot, gum..."

"Yes" Picard interjects, to which Data finishes, "...shoe."

Picard, Riker, and Troi all laughed.

"Oh, he was so naive back then." Troi commented.

"I can't believe he came so far before-" Riker began and then looked a bit sad.

"Yes, he was quiet interesting." Picard replied.

The episode continued. Q smiled as the strange forcefield appeared and smiled even more as he himself appeared on screen dressed as a captain of sixteen century Europe. Picard looked annoyed.

"Look, it's me!" Q said smiling and he smiled even wider as he froze Torres.

"How come you don't have anything better to do besides bother us?" Troi asked Q while watching the episode.

"It was just too fun not too."

"Like we really want to be reminded of how you put us through trial claiming that we were a barbaric race based on past crimes that no longer had anything to do with us." Picard said.

"Oh, just shut up and watch." Q replied.

They watch as Q changes costumes and tries to say that humans have never changed. They watch as the crew argues with him. They watch as Q leaves with a promise of coming back. They watch as the forceful chases the Enterprise. Picard smiles as Worf argues against leaving a potential battle.

"He was a bit different then. Now he's much more patient, calm, and cooperative." Picard commented.

"How could you say that?" Q asked.

"Oh just shut up and watch." Picard mocked.

Q looked annoyed but said nothing as the episode continued.

They watched up to the point of Data escorting McCoy and laughed at how he compared Data to a Vulcan. Picard then smiled as McCoy told Data to treat the Enterprise as a lady and she will always bring him home.

"I wonder were he learned that from." Captain Picard commented.

"Well, someone did tell me he was a rather remarkable man." Riker replied.

Picard smiled, "Yeh, I think we all saw that part already and I have to say. I agree with Worf."

They continued to watch the show. Riker and Troi smiled at each other as they remeet each other on the show. They then laugh as Picard tells Zorn that he hopes he is just as tasty as the ferengi's past associates.

"That was bold, sir." Riker commented.

"It sure was." Picard replied.

Q rolled his eyes and the show continued.

Riker watched himself walk through the holodeck listening to Data try to whistle "Pop Goes the Weasel".

"Will, wasn't that the song you said Data couldn't get right?" Troi asked.

"It sure was. I'd be damned if I ever forget it again." Riker replied.

They then exchanged looks as Data pulled Wesley out of the water and smiled.

"I hope I forget that smile though." Riker joked.

"What's wrong Riker? Scared of mechanical dolls?" Q joked.

"Hey, Data was no mechanical doll!"

"Calm down, Will."

"You're not allowed to call me that."

"Whatever."

Riker glared at Q, but Q ignored it as the episode continued. When it was finally over, Q smiled.

"So, how did you mortals like having a glimpse at your past?" Q asked.

"It was very entertaining, Q." Troi admitted.

"So you'd watch more?" Q asked.

"We currently will. In fact, I insist." Picard replied.

"Okay, then I'll watch more." Riker said.

"So will I." Troi said.

Q smirked as he prepared to show another episode.

 **Author's Note: So what did you think? I hope this was good enough for you. I worked hard on this. Next will be "Th e Naked Now" unless enough of you can convince me to go a different route. I still don't own Star Trek. Please review.**


	2. The Naked Now

**Chapter 2: The Naked Now:**

 **Author's Note: I hope you all find this as entertaining as I did. I claim no ownership over Star Trek or its characters.**

Captain Picard watched and listened as he gave a captain's log on screen.

"Oh, this better not be what I think it is." Picard said.

"Oh, if you mean the time all of you acted like drunken idiots then it is definitely what you feared." Q replied.

"I don't think-"

"You better not refuse to watch it. It will be fun and I'm sure your crew will want to see it."

"Yeh, I do want to see it." Riker commented.

"Well, no harm can come from watching it." Troi commented.

"Fine, we'll watch it." Picard said.

"Good because I really didn't have the time to force you."

They watched as Geordi, Riker, Tasha, and Data walked through the Tchaikovsky.

"Indications of what humans would call a wild party." Data said.

Riker began laughing and Troi smiled.

"I agreed to that. I remember it like it was yesterday." Riker commented.

"How could you disagree with such an accurate statement?" Troi asked.

"It's impossible," Picard commented, "No one should ever dare question the accuracy of an android."

Q smirked, "Well almost impossible."

"Shut up, Q."

"Yeh, shut up Q. You can't question the accuracy of an android end of story." Riker said.

Q rolled his eyes and the episode continued.

"You were right looks like they blew the emergency hatch they were all sucked out into space." Riker on the screen said.

"Correction, sir. That's blown out." Data corrected.

Riker, offscreen laughed a little, "I really miss him correcting all our statements even if it was a little annoying."

Picard and Troi nodded their heads in agreement and the episode continued.

They watched as Geordi ran into the dead women who was in the shower with all of her clothing. Then they watched as Riker reported that the whole crew was dead.

"Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. It's continuing mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before."

"Do I do that every episode?" Picard asked.

"You do. And I got to say that I like it." Q replied.

"Yeh, I do too. It gives the show a nice touch." Troi commented.

"It sure does." Riker agreed.

"Well, I'm not sure I like it." Picard said.

"Lighten up, Jean-Luc. It's just a television show. It's supposed to be fun or you not any fun?" Q said.

Picard gave Q a stern look but said nothing. The episode continued.

Riker laughed as Data in the episode mentioned to Crusher that he was mentioned in several biomechanical texts.

"Man, if he saw me laughing now he would look at me confused and ask me what I found so humorous." Riker said.

"And then you would probably say "nothing Data" and he'd look at you real confused, but then you'd say nothing else." Troi said.

"Yeh, that's exactly how'd that would go."

The episode continued and they watched as Geordi yelled at Crusher for it being too hot and then playing it off as a joke.

"Uh oh. Looks like Geordi got the sickness." Riker commented off screen.

"Well, don't state the obvious too much Mr. Troi." Picard replied.

Q snicked, "You took on her last name."

"Yeh, I did. Got a problem with it?"

"No, none." Q said smirking. Riker glared at him but said nothing.

The episode continued and they all smiled as Data asked Riker if he believed Dr. Crusher thought he was boasting and Troi laughed a little when Riker said probably. They then all watched as Geordi left Sick Bay. Then, they watched as Wesley used a tractor beam to pick up and move a chair.

"Damn, I can't believe I ever underestimated Wesley to be just some kid." Picard commented.

"Well, he was some kid alright." Riker said with empasis on the word some.

"Why isn't Bever- I mean Dr. Crusher watching this with us?" Picard asked.

"Well, I tried to ask her and she seemed a bit angry about my presence and refused to partake in my little games or at least that's what she told me."

"Perhaps, I should ask her." Picard said before heading off to Sick Bay.

He arrived in Sick Bay and looked around for Dr. Crusher and found her sitting there at her computer rather quietly seemingly only looking busy.

"You know we're all watching Star Trek with Q and would love for you to join us." Picard said.

"I thought Q was just messing around. If he was being serious, then I would definitely join you." Dr. Crusher replied.

"Come on then. We're watching the episode were we all act drunk."

Dr. Crusher smiled, "Sounds fun."

She joined Picard, Troi, Riker, and Q to watch Star Trek. Troi filled her in to all that happened and Q unpaused the episode and the episode continued. They watched as Wesley complained about not being allowed on the bridge.

"He should of been allowed on the bridge." Dr. Crusher commented.

"Yes, I agree but I thought he was a mere child back then." Picard replied.

"How could you think that?"

"I don't know."

They all continued to watch as Geordi left the Crushers's quarters and as Tasha encountered Geordi staring out into space. Then they watched as Geordi asked Tasha to help him see as a human.

"I can't believe we all used to think he could see better than us." Troi said.

"We used to think that because we thought more was better." Picard replied.

"But more was never better."

"No, it was not."

"Shut up and watch the episode." Q said.

They all became quiet and watched as Troi compared Geordi's condition to being intoxicated. Then then watched as Data searched for past Enterprise history. They then watched as Picard ordered him to download the information to Sick Bay. They then watched as Tasha went through Troi's clothing and as she left Troi's quarters. They then all laughed as Data asked Picard what a snotful was.

"Oh, Data why were you so naive?"

"Data was Data. Let's leave it as that." Picard replied. They continued to watch the episode.

Dr. Crusher watched ad she told her son to go back to quarters, "I suspected he had it, but at the time I didn't think it was possible."

"So you let him take control of my ship?"

"I didn't know he was going to do that."

"Well, I can't really blame you. Can I?"

They continued to watch the episode. They watched as Tasha kissed a random guy and Picard raised his eyebrows. Then then watched as Wesley took over the ship. Then they all laughed as Data was interrupted from restating a picular limrick. Q laughed as Tasha called Captain Picard Jean-Luc. Picard then raised his eyebrow as Tasha asked if Data was fully functional. They then watched as Riker took Troi to engineering and as he touched Dr. Crusher. Then they watched as Picard talked to Wesley. Then they watched as Data walked onto the bridge.

"Data, at least you're functioning." Picard said.

"Fully, captain." Data replied.

"If you know what I mean." Riker commented outside of the episode.

Troy laughed, Q smirked, and Picard looked at him sternly, "Please no inappropriate comments."

"Okay sir."

Q laughed as Dr. Crusher practically begged for Picard.

"Shut up." Dr. Crusher commanded.

"Picard and Crusher sitting in a-"

"Q, she said shut up! Now do it!" Picard ordered.

"Okay fine."

They watched the rest of the episode until Data and Wesley saved the Enterprise and Dr. Crusher smiled.

"That's why you should never doubt my Wes." She commented.

Q just smirked, "So want to watch more?"

They all nodded their heads yes.

 **Author's Note: I spent many hours on this so I hope it was good enough to you. Review and tell me what you thought.**


	3. The Royale

**Chapter 3: The Royale:**

 **Author's Note: No, I am not doing these in order and yes I will get to Measure of a Man. Please be patient thank you. I do not own Star Trek or its characters.**

The next episode began with the Enterprise approaching a green planet and a captain's log with Captain Picard.

"I cannot believe how accurate these episodes are. I actually remember recording that in a log." Picard commented.

"I find it hard to believe too. It seems like these people from the twenty-first century are some sort of sorcerers." Riker replied.

"Oh please. Gene Roddenberry and the rest of them were regular human beings. They may have been accurate about the future, but that doesn't mean they had powers. I would know if they ever had been Q or something similar." Q replied.

"Maybe they were psychic?" Riker said as if he were asking it.

"I doubt it. I don't think there was anything unusual about them or I would know." Q answered.

"Well, you don't know everything, Q."

"But I do know everything. I'm all knowing, remember?"

"Q you're not- nevermind."

The episode continued with Geordi giving a report on the planet. Then Picard and Riker talked about how Picard couldn't solve a complex ancient mathematical problem. Then Chief O'Brian transported a piece of a NASA shuttle onto the Enterprise.

"Oh, I remember this. This is where-" Riker commented.

"No spoilers, Mr. Troi." Picard ordered.

Q snickered and the episode continued. Picard cringed a bit when he heard himself say the Star Trek theme. Riker smiled and looked at him. Picard sighed to himself.

The episode continued and Wesley discovered the building surrounded by breathable air. Riker, Data, and Worf beamed down to the surface of the planet and they saw the revolving door. They stepped into a strange casino slash hotel called the Hotel Royale and lost communications with the Enterprise. They then check in at the front desk and were mentioned as three foreigners and had been exspected.

They question the host at the front desk only to discover the humanoid aliens call the planet Earth and refuse to give information as to how he got there. Data begins to scan around only to discover none of the aliens were emitting life signs.

"It seems you have gotten yourself stuck in a strange situation." Picard commented looking at Riker.

"Strange wouldn't even begin to discribe it." Riker replied.

"Shut up and watch the episode." Q ordered.

Riker smirked ever so slightly and the episode continued. Data is trying to explain how the people are there but do not exhibit life signs and uses the man with a cowboy hat as a example. He mentions getting down to business with Data and Data looks confused. Q and the crew all laugh as he asks Riker what business he was getting down too.

"Man, I really love that android, Data. He was something special." Q admitted.

"Oh, the mighty Q admits he cares about someone. How sweet, but he was more the something special." Riker replied.

Q looked annoyed, "Now I never said I cared."

Picard smirked, "Actually, you most certainly did. You said you loved Data. I would take that as caring about him."

Q crossed his arms, "Just shut up."

They all became real quiet and the episode continued. The man with the cowboy hat invites Data to play blackjack. They all smiled as Data explained blackjack. They all smiled again when Data won blackjack.

"Yeh, you show them how to play!" Dr. Crusher cheered.

The episode continued. Riker, Worf, and Data tried to exit only to end up back inside. They tried to ask around for other exits only to be ignored. Worf tried using a phaser against a wall to no effect. Then Data reports finding no other exits. They were trapped. Then the kid and the host talked about Mikey D. Then Riker tried to talk to the host to no avail.

"How did it feel to be trapped like that?" Picard asked.

"Very frustrating." Riker replied.

The episode continued with Data discovering human DNA. They went to the elevators which Worf thought were turbolifts and tried to use them.

"Seems to be malfunctioning." Worf said. Q laughed.

"You people and your limited understanding of technology." Q said smirking.

"In Work's defense. It was an antique elevator." Riker said.

"Or maybe he was just stupid."

"Q, I will not stand by as you insult my crew. There was no way he could have known." Picard said.

"Yeh, and further in his defense it is human technology not Klingon." Riker added.

Q rolled his eyes and the episode continued. They discovered the body of the human male and reported it to Captain Picard. Worf then found books in a drawer. One of then was titled Hotel Royale. Data then summarized the Hotel Royale. Riker then read the diary to Captain Picard and they discussed a method to escape. The phone then rang and Worf picked it up. He says it's for room service and Data replies that he thinks they're asking if they want the room cleaned. Worf tells her no and tells Riker that she said the kitchen will be open twenty-four hours.

"I can't believe how unbelieving dense you all could be." Q commented.

"In our defense, room service was something that hadn't been required for centuries." Riker replied.

"Still, you seem to have forgotten quite a lot of history."

"We know our history even if not perfectly."

"Whatever."

The episode continued. Data talks to the man in the cowboy hat to no avail. Then Micky D arrives and Picard continues to listen to the book. Micky D then kills the bellhop. Then they discover the way out is to buy the hotel. Data plays rolette to buy the hotel. Data then repairs the dice.

"Baby needs a new pair of shoes." Data says.

They all laughed. And Riker smiled as Data smirked.

"You know for an android with no emotion well he just sure seems to have it." Riker commented.

"That's because he did. He just didn't know it." Q replied.

"That's unfortunate. He deserved to enjoy it."

Q nodded slightly. The episode continued and they bought the hotel and were finally free to leave. They left and beamed back to the Enterprise. The episode ended and the music played at the end.

"Man, I sure do like that music." Riker commented.

"Likewise." Picard agreed.

"So, I'm guessing you would like to see more?"

They all nodded their heads yes.

 **Author's Note: I'll think I'll do Measure of a Man or The Big Goodbye next chapter. We'll see. I hope you liked this chapter. I worked mighty hard on it and am eager for reviews. 8D!**


	4. The Measure of a Man

**Chapter 4: The Measure of a Man:**

 **Author's Note: As requested I'm doing Measure of a Man. Hope you like it. I don't own Star Trek or its characters.**

The episode began with the captain's log. The episode continued with Data, Riker, Pulaski, Geordi, and O'Brian playing poker. Troi smiled as Data asked Riker if he was making a poker face.

Picard shook his head as Riker bluffed Data and looked at Riker, "And you wonder why I never played with you."

"I always thought you were a sore loser." Riker joked.

"Actually, if I recall correctly I was a sore winner. I just don't like to play with cheaters."

"I never cheat."

"I'm sorry, Will, but you definitely do cheat." Troi commented teasingly.

"You were supposed to defend me, Deanna."

"Well, it's true." Troi said smiling.

"I always knew you were a cheater." Picard continued to joke.

Riker rolled his eyes and the episode continued with Picard meeting Admiral Nakamura. Then the introduction played. Then it showed Picard and Nakamura talking.

Q snickered as she called Picard a pompous ass and laughed as she said he was a damn sexy man.

"Shut up, Q!" Picard ordered.

Q continued to laugh to himself and the episode continued. Then an admiral introduced Bruce Maddox and Q shook his head irritated. Maddox began staring at Data and Q didn't look pleased at all.

"That bigot staring at Data as if he's an object. That's not very fair. Data is not some shiny toy." Q commented.

"Sounds like you care about him." Troi said.

"I do not care. I'm just smart enough to understand that Data is a living being." Q argued.

Troi didn't look like she really believed that but shrugged it off, "Whatever you say."

"Damn Maddox." Q said angrily under his breath and the episode continued.

As Maddox mentioned disassembling Data, Troi and Crusher both appeared as upset as Q.

"Now that's not very fair." Dr. Crusher commented.

"Exactly what I was trying to say!" Q said angrily, "I'm beginning to wish I had turned Maddox into a betaziodian flee."

"Well, that's not exactly fair either even if Maddox is a big jerk." Troi said.

"But he deserves it."

"I actually agree, but having turned him into a flee would have solved nothing."

"Whatever."

The episode continued with Picard, Maddox, Data, and Riker talking in the briefing room and it was clearly shown how incompetent Maddox really was.

"He didn't even know what he was doing and he excepts that Data will just say yes. I hate him." Q commented.

"I think we can all agree on that even if hate is such a strong word." Riker said. The rest of them nodded in agreement.

"Yeh, it's not cool for him to treat Data like he's just a machine." Wesley said appearing.

Dr. Crusher smiled at the appearance of her son and Q rolled his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Q asked.

"I know I wasn't officially invited, but I thought that I would be welcome to also watch this old television show with you." Wesley said.

"Fine, but I'm the only one who uses magical powers around here."

"What's wrong, Q? Jealous?" Dr. Crusher asked.

"Not at all. He will never be Q material. I just don't like him flaunting his abilities when I'm around."

"Whatever you say Q." Both Crushers said and the episode continued.

Picard and Data were talking and Picard mentioned how Data should maybe submit to the procedure.

"I can't believe you said that sir." Riker commented.

"I can't believe I did either, but Data sure did set me straight when he asked why not all officers required to have their eyes replaced. Now I would never say something like that again." Picard replied.

"I hope so, sir."

The episode continued with Picard going to Nakamura for help. Q rolled his eyes when she said all this passion over a machine.

"I've learned that Data was more than a machine." Wesley said and everyone agreed.

The episode continued with Data packing and Maddox trespassing into his room. Maddox practically threatened Data and Q shook his head angrily. Then Picard, Nakamura, and Maddox argued on whether Data has rights. Then it cut to Data carefully opening a gift and Wesley trying to tell him you're supposed to rip up the wrapping.

"I miss that most about Data. How he could never quite understand human tendencies, but then he proved himself to be more human than any of us." Wesley commented.

Picard smiled, "You're damn right, Wes."

The episode continued with Data and Geordi talking. Then with Nakamura, Picard, and Riker talking about convining a hearing. Riker then was forced to agree to rule against Data. Data then tells Captain Picard that he is okay with him representing his interests. It then cuts to Riker finding evidence that Data is just a machine. Then it cuts to Riker proving that Data is a mere machine.

"That must of been hard to do." Troi commented.

"It was the hardest thing I ever done." Riker replied.

The episode continues with Picard's defense and at the end when Data refuses to undergo the experiment Q claps. Wesley and then the rest of them follow suit.

"I think it's sweet how Data cared about Tasha." Troi commented.

"This he was currently that most feeling of us all as well." Picard replied.

"And it's amazing how he forgave Riker." Wesley added.

"Well Data was an almost wise man." Riker replied.

"Yes, he was more than worthy of being called friend." Q muttered.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"So I assume everyone wants to see more."

They all said yes.

 **Author's Note: I hope you liked this chapter. Please don't flame me for a more passive approach on the trial. It just worked better that way. Please review and tell me which episode you would like to see next.**


	5. Tapestry

**Chapter 5: Tapestry:**

 **Author's Note: The hiatus is officially over. I know I had some requests but I really wanted to do this episode and it doesn't mean I forgot your requests. I'll get to it soon so don't worry. Hope you like this chapter. I don't own Star Trek and I did not create it. I credit it to Gene Roddenberry.**

The next episode began with Dr. Crusher walking into Sick Bay. The room was busy and they were preparing for Captain Picard's arrival. Worf and the rest beamed with an injured Picard and set him on the biobed. Crusher ordered medicine and stimulators. Meanwhile while Dr. Crusher was trying to save Picard, Picard awakes to an a white room and saw a man in all white holding his arms open.

Q smiled widely as he watched Picard come toward him. In the episode, Picard took his hand and Q stepped forward revealing himself to Picard.

"Welcome to the afterlife Jean-Luc. You're dead." Q in the episode said.

Meanwhile, offscreen Q smirked widely and Wesley looked at him curiously.

"You know mom never told me how you felt being dead." Wesley said.

"Well I'm sure you will find out," Q said, "But if you really want to know he seemed horrified.

"That's only because you were in my afterlife, Q." Picard said.

"Oh don't be such a baby."

"It's your own fault that I don't like you."

Q pouted, "But daddy, I tried my best to do good."

"Shut up, Q." Picard ordered.

Q actually kept quite, but didn't look too pleased and the episode continued with the introduction. Q looked even more unpleased when Picard onscreen refused to believe the afterlife was run by him.

"I still don't get why you didn't believe me." Q said.

"Because you're not responsible or kind enough to run the afterlife." Picard replied.

"Oh, but I could be anything I want. I can be anywhere I want. I can do anything I want." Q boasted.

"Blaspemy."

Q rolled his eyes and the episode continued with Picard's father telling him he shouldn't have run off to the academy. After that, Q made all the voices of those Picard "killed" through his actions or inactions sound. Picard still refused to do Q's bidding. Q offscreen looked disappointed when Picard onscreen told him that his only regret was dying and finding him there.

"And you call me unkind." Q commented.

"Be quiet, Q." Picard ordered again.

"Okay fine." Q pouted.

The episode continued with Q showing Picard his artificial heart and his battle with the three nausicaans. Young Picard laughed after they stabbed him in the heart. Picard admired regretting taking them on. Q offered him a chance to do it all over again and Picard accepted.

Q snapped his fingers and Picard was back in time getting slapped by a girl getting laughed at by his friends. After they left, Q appeared and assured him that everything was real. Picard and Q discussed changing the past and Q assured him that changing his past wouldn't affect others. They continued to talk and Riker raised an eyebrow as Q called him Johnny.

"Jonny Picard?" Riker asked.

"Don't call me that William Riker Troi." Picard replied.

Wesley laughed, "I can't believe you let him call you Johnny."

"Shut up, Wesley."

Wesley still laughed a little and Riker smirked and the episode continued. Picard got a drink spilled on him by Penny and Dr. Crusher laughed.

"Bad luck with ladies huh?" She commented.

Picard smiled, "Always."

The episode continued with Picard's friend playing dom-jot. Picard attempted to talk him out of playing the nausicaan to no avail. Q and Picard talked for awhile. Later, Picard tried to get his friend out of cheating and his friend got mad that he doesn't want a fight. Q interrupted Picard talking to his friend with flowers.

"I'm still happy I interrupted that." Q commented.

"Yeh, whatever." Picard replied.

"Now why does something tell me that you cared."

"We were just friends, Q."

"Yeh, whatever."

The episode continued. Picard then tried to stop Corey from cheating. He then talked to his other friend about Corey being mad and they eventually kissed.

"I hope you're not jealous, Dr. Crusher." Q teased.

"Me jealous? No." Dr. Crusher replied.

"Why not? You want him to be yours don't you?"

"Uh... no."

"Did I hear hesitation in your voice?"

"Q, stop teasing my mother." Wesley ordered.

"Fine, but sooner or later they'll have to realize that they're totally are sitting in a tree or climb down maybe."

"Q, stop it." Troi commanded.

"Fine."

The episode continued to Picard waking up to Q. Riker raised his eyebrows and looked at them both.

"Long story." Picard said.

Then, onscreen Picard talked to his friend and she tells him they have to part ways. Then the scene changes to the three friends sitting together. The nausicaans come and instead of defending his friend, he pushed him to prevent the fight. His friends both leave upset and Q sent Picard to the present.

Picard was disappointed to learn that his new choices lead him only to be a lueitenant. He discussed it with Q who assured him nothing else changed. Still disappointed Picard discussed rising through the ranks with Riker and Troi only to be disappointed.

Picard seemed upset and talked to Q who only told him that this is the life he had wanted. Picard upset with his life asked for a chance to change it all back. Q gave him what he wanted and he fought with the nausicaans. Picard then woke up in Sick Bay laughing.

"Oh so that's why you were laughing." Dr. Crusher commented.

Picard nodded and the episode continued with Picard telling Riker about his experience. When the episode ended Q smiled.

"You're welcome, Picard." Q said and Picard nodded and they all prepared to see the next episode.

 **Author's Note: So did you enjoy the chapter? Tell me in a review and tell me which episode you want to see next and I may do it. We'll see. :D!**


	6. The Ensigns of Command

**Chapter 6: The Ensigns of Command:**

 **Author's Note: I've been meaning to get back to this for some time now and I'm finally delivering. Finally. Hope you enjoy the chapter.**

"Before we begin the next episode I got to ask. How did they get so much right? I mean even the actors portray us very well. How could they know?" Troi asked.

"Questions. Questions. Waste of time. Besides I think my character could have been portrayed better." Q replied.

"What? Not know it all jerk enough for you or are you just sad you didn't get more screen time?" Riker asked.

"Both actually and they could have made me seem more intelligent." Q complained.

"Then I think they got one thing right."

"Hey, that's not funny!"

"Neither are you."

"Enough! Both of you! Let's get to the episode." Picard ordered.

The episode began with the Enterprise flying through space before cutting to a romulan violinist coming into Ten Forward shortly followed by Data. Data saw Picard and Dr. Crusher there and urged them to attend the second concert on account that his performances lack soul.

"Oh Data. He was so human. He was worried so much about being less than adequate." Dr. Crusher said.

"Of course he was worried. Every human doubts him or herself." Q replied.

"Q, are you saying Data was human?" Picard asked.

"Yes. I even believe he was as human as you, Picard if not more."

"I think your right, Q."

"Of course I am right. Wait a minute. Did the mighty Jean-Luc Picard just call me right?"

"Don't spoil the moment, Q."

"I won't spoil the moment. I never spoil the moment."

Q snapped his fingers and suddenly there were people throwing confetti and a sign that said, "Q was right." over Q's head.

Picard shook his head in disappoval and the episode continued with Data saying, "But is not honesty always the preferred choice?"

They all laughed.

"I like lying better." Q mentioned offscreen.

"Of course you do." Picard said and the episode continued.

Picard stepped out as Data was performing because of a Sheliak message and Data looked confused.

"Poor Data. It must have been hard explaining that you had to leave because it was important." Wesley said.

"I don't even recall how I did that. It was so long ago. Sadly, there is a chance that Data never knew." Picard replied.

"I bet Data would have understood." Geordi said taking a seat next to Wesley.

"LaForge. Glad you can join us. How did you know to come here?"

Geordi replied, "Well Q explained everything and I just had to see it for myself."

"Well glad you could make it."

"Thank you, sir."

The episode continued with the Sheliak's automated message. Then with the classic introduction. Geordi shot Picard a curious look and Picard just shook his head no. The episode continued with the discovery of humans on the planet. Data is ordered to go down to the planet and he is discovered by two curious humans. Data informs Picard that there are over 15000 people on the planet. Data talks to the leader Gosheven who refuses to leave the planet. Then a woman throws something at Data.

Q looked annoyed as they called Data a toy.

"He's no toy! He is a living lifeform!" Q protested.

"I think Q is-" Geordi began.

"No, no. Please don't say what I think your going to say." Picard ordered.

"What? That I'm right? Again." Q gloated.

"Oh no."

Q snapped his fingers and suddenly there was a band playing victory music. They all ignored Q's celebrating and the episode continued. Q was too busy celebrating to notice Gosheven call Data a walking calculator but the rest of them heard it.

"What does this guy have against Data? I mean it's not fair for him to say stuff like that!" Wesley said.

"No, it's not Wes. I wish I could give that guy a piece of my mind." Geordi said.

They all nodded in agreement except Q who was still celebrating the episode continued. Data told the girl he has no time to answer a million questions and they all laugh even Q who finally stopped celebrating. Then the girl introduced herself as And'rian. Then the episode continued with Picard asking Geordi and O'Brian to make the transporters work. Then Picard contacted the Sheliak only to get hung up on.

"Looks like the mighty Picard cannot negotiate." Q said smirking.

"Shut up, Q and keep watching. You may be impressed later." Picard replied.

The episode continued with Data talking to And'rian. Then with Geordi and O'Brian trying to get the transporters to work. Then with Data getting once again refused by Gosheven. Then with Picard planning to intercept the Sheliak vessel. Then with Riker and Data talking about getting the people off the planet. Then with And'rian kissing Data and Data looking around confused. Geordi laughed. Picard smiled. Q smirked.

"Bold girl. Going around and barking up all the wrong trees." Q said.

"Too bad Data doesn't get it." Geordi said.

The episode continued. Data tried to convince the people using reverse psychology only to once again failed. Two of Gosheven's men tried to confront Data. One does not believe Gosheven was right the other not sure what to believe. And'rian told them to gather other supporters of Data and bring them to her house.

Then the episode continued with Troi and Picard talking about speech. Then Picard talked to the Sheliak and got invited on board. Then the episode continued with Data talking to those willing to evacuate. Gosheven interrupted and shot Data with this rod. Troi and Picard talked to the Sheliak just to get "hung up" on again. Data awakened realizing that he required action. He begins building a special kind of phaser and tells And'rian to tell Gosheven that he will destroy the aqueduct.

"Data you sure know how to use your fancy positronic brain." Riker commented and they all shook their heads in agreement.

Data with his phaser convinced the people to evacuate. Data spoke some words of wisdom to Gosheven. Picard then found something in the treaty to get the Sheliak to listen. When he succeeds to convince them Q smiles.

"Good negotiation skills Picard." Q complimented.

"Told you you'd be impressed." Picard replied.

Q smirked and when the episode continued with Geordi telling Picard it would take fifteen years to improve the transporters. Picard tells him he will postpone the request. Then it cut to Data who was preparing to leave on a shuttle. And'rian arrived and they talked and Data kissed And' all smiled. Then in the episode Picard complimented Data's playing.

When the episode ended Q smiled, "So what next?"

 **Author's Note: So? What did you think? Was it good? Did you like it? I will be doing Deja Q next so please wait Snowfrost. It's coming and maybe this time it's about high time I add an intermission too. So maybe that will also be in next chapter. Review please. 8D!**


	7. Deja Q

**Chapter 7: Deja Q**

 **Author's Note: Hope you all enjoy this new chapter! I don't own Star Trek. Please review and let me know what you think.**

"How about a break? We already watched like six episodes." Troi asked.

"You want a break? Hump. You mortals have such short attention spans."

Q replied.

"I don't know, Q. A break sounds like a good idea to me." Riker commented.

"You're just saying that because you have to!" Q complained.

"I doubt it. A break seems like a good idea to me too." Picard commented.

"Fine! You mortals have your precious break, but be back in an hour."

Q snapped his fingers and Picard found himself in his ready room. He went over to the food replicator and asked for hot Earl Grey tea. The replicator worked almost instantly giving him what he wanted. He sipped on the tea and sat down in his chair. His moment of peace was interrupted by a chime on his door.

"Come in." Picard said and Counselor Troi walked through the door.

"Captain, I was thinking maybe we can convince Worf and B4 to come watch Star Trek with us." Troi said.

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, it would give B4 a chance to learn more about his brother and Worf may be just as fascinated as us to see himself onscreen."

"You may be right. I'll see what I can do. Was that all?"

"Yes, sir."

After Troi left, Picard called in Worf and B4 to his ready room. B4 looked confused and Worf looked serious and stoic.

"Hello gentlemen." Picard greeted.

"What do you need, sir?" Worf asked.

"I was wondering if you two want to see Star Trek with us."

"Why?" B4 asked.

"Because B4, it'll give you a chance to know your brother more."

"How?"

"You will be seeing him onscreen."

B4 looked confused.

"What I mean is you'll be seeing a representation of him onscreen."

"How?"

"It's a bit complicated to explain."

"Why?"

"Perhaps it's better for B4 not to watch Star Trek. He'll just ask too many questions." Q said.

"Q, it is his decision. Let him choose."

"No." B4 said.

"Why not?"

"I do not wish to ruin your experience. I may ask a lot of questions. I do not wish to bother you with questions."

"Okay, fair enough. What about you, Worf?"

"Hmm, I am interested in watching this Star Trek. What is it about?" Worf asked.

"It's about us, of course. Well you, me, and the rest of the Enterprise." Q answered.

"I will watch it with you." Worf said.

"Really? Okay. Picard, your break is about over anyways so-"

"Alright, Q. Let's start the next episode." Picard replied.

Q smirked and snapped his fingers and suddenly Troi, Riker, Wesley, Geordi, Worf, Dr. Crusher, and Picard were all there in the theater staring at the screen. The next episode began with a captain's log with Picard talking about a moon that was descending towards a populated planet. Offscreen, Worf looked at Picard in bewilderment.

"Relax, klingon. It's just a show." Q said.

The episode continued with their first attempt to move the moon. Then Q appeared naked on the Enterprise. Q smiled wide at seeing himself onscreen again.

"Look, it's me!" Q said excitedly.

"Yes, Q, this isn't the first time we saw you onscreen." Picard mentioned.

"And it won't be the last, captain. I promise you that."

Picard rolled his eyes and the episode continued with the introduction and Q in a tight outfit. Q admitted to being kicked out of the continuum and stripped of all his powers and was met by looks of disbelief and annoyance.

"I still can't believe you mortals wouldn't listen to me!" Q said loudly.

"You lied to us and tricked us before, Q. You didn't deserve trust then or now, now that I think about it." Riker replied.

"I was human. No if, ands, or buts about it."

"Quiet, Q." Picard ordered.

Q frowned and the episode continued as Troi described what Q was feeling as terrified.

"That was mean, Troi. You should be feed to the alligators if you think Q the magnificent was ever terrified." Q said.

"I was just being honest." Troi replied.

"Hey-"

"I said be quiet, Q! Now be quiet!" Picard ordered.

"Okay, okay geez."

The episode continued with Q being thrown in the brig. Q frowned offscreen but stayed quiet like Captain Picard ordered. Picard told the people that their first attempt to restore the moon had failed. Then Data reported to being scanned. Picard asked Q for an explanation and Q offered his assistance.

Picard agreed to let Q help and assigned him Data to keep him out of trouble. Data and Q talk.

"Oh, Data always wishing to be a pitiful human when he was the best human I ever met." Q commented.

"Q, I'm starting to think you generally care about Data." Picard replied.

"I don't care." Q lied.

"Say whatever you want, but it's not going to convince me that you don't."

"Maybe I do care. Shut up and leave it alone."

The episode continued. Q hurt his back and suggested changing the gravitational constant of the universe. Geordi replied that he couldn't and Q seems surprised.

"I don't get it. I thought you were supposed to be all knowing. How could you be all knowing and not know what humans are not capable of?" Wesley asked.

"Shut up, Wesley. I am all knowing."

"But-"

"I said shut up, Wesley."

The episode continued. Geordi figures out how he can change the gravitational constant of the moon and Q discovers he is hungry. Data suggests eating how he feels so Q orders ten chocolate sundaes. Guinan walks into Ten Forward and stabs Q in the hand. Guinan tells Q he's only going to survive on charity. Then the calamarain attack and Data tries to help.

Then Captain Picard, Riker and Q talk and they agree to let Q stay and help. Picard talks with the people on the planet. Geordi prepares for another attempt to restore the moon to its orbit and assigns Q to manually adjust the field output.

"I can't believe you treated me like a stupid little monkey, Mr. LaForge." Q complained.

"You deserved a little menial task." Geordi replied.

"But my skills-"

"Don't matter."

"But-

"Shut up, Q." Picard said and Q was quiet.

The episode continued with Data saving Q from the calamarain.

"Data, you were so sacrifical. Your best human quality." Q commented.

"You're right, Q."

"Of course I'm right."

The episode continued with Q and Picard talking. Then Q talked to Data and called him a better human than himself. Q then steals a shuttle to sacrifice himself to the calamarain. Q then talks to q and Q gets back his powers. Q goes back to the Enterprise and celebrates. Q then gives Data the gift of laughter and returns the moon to its proper orbit.

"That was nice of Q." Wesley commented.

Q merely shook his head no and they all prepared to watch the next episode.

 **Author's Note: So what did you think of this chapter. Hoped you liked it. Don't forget to review and maybe leave a suggestion on what you like to see next. Thanks for reading! 8D!**


	8. Parallels

**Chapter 8: Parallels:**

 **Author's Note: Sorry I haven't got to this in a while. I had a bad case of writer's block. But I'm back with a request to do Parallels so here goes nothing. I do not own Star Trek or any of the characters. I credit everything to Gene Roddenberry and his crew. Hope you enjoy the new chapter! 8D!**

The next episode began with Worf talking about how he won the tournament. Worf offscreen looked a bit shocked.

"How could they have known about that?" Worf asked.

"It's incredible isn't it? Humans from decades before were able to know and act like a person who wouldn't exist for decades. Quite amazing." Q replied.

"Is that me?"

"No, you stupid klingon that isn't you. It's just an actor."

"Then how could the err actor know my exact log entry?"

"Simple. Gene Roddenberry was a brilliant human capable of coincidently creating a universe that would one day become reality."

"I see. Then who is it on screen?"

"That would be Michael Dorn."

"Well, I have to admit that Micheal Dorn portrays me quite well."

"Yes he does. Now will you shut up and watch the episode!"

The episode continued with Worf getting on the ship and talking about a relay post that stopped transmitting yet again, except Worf was unusually tense because it was his birthday.

"How could they have known about my birthday?" Worf asked.

"Coincidence again, klingon. Now shut for the second time." Q replied annoyed.

The episode continued with Worf being surprised in his quarters for his birthday. Then the introduction played. Worf was sang "He's a Jolly Good Fellow" in klingon. Then Worf cut the cake which was supposed to be chocolate. Then Data gave Worf a painting. Then when Geordi approached Worf switched universes and the cake that was chocolate was now vanilla and Captain Picard was there when before he was needed on the bridge.

"Now I really wish that we threw you that surprise birthday party." Riker commented offscreen.

"I don't." Worf replied.

"Klingons, you're such party poopers." Q said.

Worf only glared in response and the episode continued.

It was discovered that the relay post was transmitting to somewhere else so Riker assembled an away team to find out what the array has been transmitting. Then Worf arrives in Ten Forward to speak to Counselor Troi and asks her to be Alexander's sol chlm.

Q giggled.

"Q, don't be rude. I love being Alexander's sol clm." Troi stated.

"You and Worf?"

"Who cares Q? That's the past. It's me and Riker now."

"Whatever." Q said laughing to himself.

The episode continued with Worf being called to engineering. Worf goes and they discuss how a Cardassian vessel may have been intercepting transmissions. Then Geordi comes closer and Worf switches realities again. He goes to Sick Bay and Dr. Crusher tells him how he got a concussion and lost the tournament. Worf tries to prove her wrong and only finds a different Bat'leth trophy than the original that he won. He shows her the logs only to discover they are different from what he recorded. So Dr. Crusher goes on thinking that these are symptoms of a concussion.

"I can't believe the alternate you couldn't tell that something bigger was wrong." Weasley commented.

"I can because I would have thought it was just the concussion too." Dr. Crusher replied.

"Well, then I feel bad for Worf."

The episode continued with a Cardassian vessel coming and Picard opening a channel. Then Worf said that the Cardassian vessel was responsible for reprogramming the array only not to be believed. Picard asks Data to investigate his claims. Worf returns to his quarters confused and frustrated. Geordi comes to tell him he's wrong then Worf switches universes again and the painting moves. He switches universes again and the painting changes. He switches universes again and he is on the bridge being ordered to raise shields.

"Wow, that must have been very disorientating Worf." Troi commented.

"And confusing." Worf added.

The episode went on with Riker taking over tactical from Worf. Worf asked to be relived of duty and Picard accepts. Worf then returns to his quarters and finds his trophy gone. He reviews his logs to discover that he apparently never been to the Bat'leth tournament. Troi comes in and invites him to sit down. Off screen Q raised his eyebrow. When she planted a kiss on Worf, Q began to laugh.

Riker just shook his head, "She's my wife, Worf you can't have her." Riker joked.

"I know that commander. I would never come in between you and the counselor." Worf replied seriously.

"Dang klingon, can't you tell Riker was merely joking?" Q asked.

"I could not. I apologize, commander." Worf said.

"Apology accepted." Riker said and the episode continued.

Worf discovered that the changes were all happening around Geordi when talking to Data. They go to talk to Geordi and realize that he is dead. They activate the visor and once again Worf changes realities. Worf discovered he is now a commander and still married to Counselor Troi. Data and Worf go to talk to Riker in the ready room. They then discover that Worf is from a different reality. They track the shuttle that apparently never left the Enterprise and discover that it has passed through a quantum anamoly. They then learn from Data that all realities that can happen do happen in an alternative reality.

They then talk about getting Worf back. Worf returned to his quarters with Troi who is sad her Worf may never return. She worries about the children they have, but Worf is not happy to hear that Alexander is not part of this universe. He has to go back. A Bajoran ship attacks and the quantum fissure destabilizes and the different Enterprises enter the reality. They then discover the right ship that Worf came from. They talk and a shuttle is sent so Worf could get back to his reality. Before he leaves, Worf kisses Counselor Troi.

"Eww gross." Q commented.

"Nobody asked what you thought, Q." Picard replied.

Q rolled his eyes and the episode continued. The shuttle comes under attack from one of the Enterprises. They refuse to go back to their universe because the Borg are everywhere. Riker has no choice but to try and disable the ship. The ship already weak from fighting with the Borg is destroyed. Worf then returns to his own universe and realizes that he yet again won the Bat'leth tournament. He tells Riker what happened and is nervous that he will once again have a surprise party. Troi tells him that she talked Riker out of it and gave him his birthday present. Worf then invites her to dinner.

When the episode is over, Q claps, "More?"

"Why not?" Picard replies and they all get ready for the next episode.

 **Author's Note: Did you like it? This took me all night so I hope it was adequate. Tell me which episode to do next. I'm kinda leaning towards The Big Goodbye, but I could change my mind if I receive a good suggestion. Don't forget to review. 8D!**


	9. The Big Goodbye

**Chapter 9: The Big Goodbye:**

 **Author's Note: Haven't updated in a while but I am back hopefully to please you with updates. Hope you like it and remember that I don't own Star Trek. Virtual cookies to all that leave a review.**

The episode began with Riker stating his second officer log that said Picard has to greet a race known as the arada. Then it showed Picard trying to prepare for his greeting. He was working hard because even the slightest mispronounciation meant an insult.

"Oh you humans and your petty troubles. Languages come all to easily to the Q." Q bragged.

"Yeh well I like to hear you try." Picard challenges.

Q tries but mispronouns something and Picard just smiles.

"Nice try, Q."

"Wait. Wait. I messed up on purpose."

"Whatever you say, Q."

The episode continued with Troi telling Picard to check out the holodeck. Picard enters the holodeck to a story about Dixon Hill who was a San Francisco private detective. He enters the office only to be laughed at for losing a bet. Picard then realizes he is still in uniform.

"Silly human can't even dress appropriately." Q mocked.

"Silly Q can't even speak appropriately." Picard bit back.

"I said I messed up on purpose!"

"Yeh right." Wesley chimed in. "You should just admit you made a mistake."

"Qs do _not_ make mistakes."

"Yeh they do. Everyone does. They're- you're just too afraid to admit it."

"Shut up Wesley."

The episode continued with the holodeck woman laughing at Picard's attire. She left and Picard walked in on another woman and claimed he had lost a bet. She tells him that someone is after her and then the introduction played. Picard talks about how real the holodeck is on his personal log.

Q smirks. "Oh look at all out technology. So amazing."

"You're the one to talk. _Flawless. Perfect. Never makes mistakes._ " Riker said with a voice full of sarcasm.

"You're sarcasm is disrespectful Commander Riker. Perhaps I should smite you."

"You don't have the guts."

"What to bet?"

"Shut up Q." Wesley said smirking.

The episode continued with Picard naming his price and being kissed on the cheek and then being orde to wear a suit.

"I bet Beverly is jealous of that woman, Picard."

"Shut up, Q!" Dr. Crusher and Picard said simultaneously.

The episode continued with the girl leaving and Picard looking out of the window at the to see automobiles. Then Picard goes out of the holodeck but the holodeck kinda keeps playing with the man looking for Dixon Hill. Picard goes to tell the crew how great the holodeck is. Data describes the automobile as a old school device and mentions it for use in teenage mating rituals.

Everybody laughs and laughs even harder when Wesley repeats it.

"See this is why we all love Data so much." Q said.

"You can say that again."

Everyone turned to see that the voice was no other than Geordi's and nodded in agreement.

Then the episode continued with Picard inviting Dr. Crusher and the other officer who is an expert on Dixon Hill. Then after Picard is done stating his excitement they talk more serious matters. Data explains to Picard even the slightest error could end in disaster. Geordi later explains to him that it wasn't necessarily necessary for him to talk the way he did to Picard and also explains to him that Dixon Hill is worth investigating. Data goes on to read Dixon Hill.

Picard goes to reenter Dixon Hill with Wayard and Data joins them. They walk out into the street and see a newspaper about Hitler and baseball. Data tries to explain but looks out of place. Picard claims he's from South America. A detective in the story interrogates them and claims the lady from the beginning has been murdered. Meanwhile outside the holodeck, some sort of energy serge messes everything up.

The arada contact the Enterprise and refuse to talk to Riker. Then Dr. Crusher enters the messed up holodeck program and is upset to hear that the captain is being interrogated.

"Forget being interrogated though I love how Data explains it. Shouldn't you stupid humans have noticed something wrong right now?"

"Q, stop it." Dr. Crusher warns.

"Fine."

The episode continued with Picard being yelled at. Then Geordi discovers they can't open the holodeck. Wesley offers to help and Riker agrees after hearing that Dr. Crusher is trapped the interrogation continues. Picard admits that it's not as fun as he thought and is left alone. Meanwhile Dr. Crusher swallows gum.

Q laughs, "You're supposed to chew it."

"I didn't know." Dr. Crusher admitted.

Q snickers to himself while the episode continued. Wesley and Geordi attempt to get the holodeck open. Picard is given a cigarette and released from an interrogation. He encounters Dr. Crusher and they talk and the whole conversation Q smirks wildly and both Picard and Beverly blush offscreen. Picard throws a glare at Q before he could start making fun of them but both of them clearly felt the "amor" and chemistry between themselves.

They visit the office only to be flashed a gun at them. They raise their hands and Wayard gets shot. Dr. Crusher at first claps but realizes with horror that it is all too real. They discover they can't leave the holodeck and then more villains come in. The villian monologues and mocks them and they do everything they can to protect Wayard. Then a character comes in looking for Dixon and is hit. Data tries to explain that they can't help. Picard tries to convince them that he is not Dixon Hill. Dr. Crusher explains how killing is senseless when Leech begs him to kill one of them. Picard lies about having the item to keep them from killing Dr. Crusher.

"Oh so over protective, Picard. I'm beginning to think you two are more than just friends." Q said smirking slightly.

"Our relationship is none of your concern." Picard defends.

"Everyone's relationship is always my concern. I'm a Q."

"Yeh, a pretty dull one at that." Wesley muttered.

"I heard that you little mutt." Q was about to raise his fingers to change Wesley into a dog when Dr. Crusher interrupted.

"Don't even think about it." She said threateningly.

The episode continued with Riker trying to keep the peace. Wesley finds a to get Picard and team out of the holodeck. Meanwhile, inside the holodeck, Wayard is still dying. Picard asks for help to fix the computer prompting Data to explain what a computer is. Leech wants to kill Data but a blizzard interrupts. The exit opens and the villains go through and get erased. Data disarms and defeats the last villian. Then Data takes him to Sick Bay. Picard speaks with his partner and then leaves the holodeck. Picard then talks to arada only to properly greet them. Data is told off for reciting the book.

"Why are you so mean to Data? Let him talk!" Q said angrily.

"Well, if I had, he might have been reciting for hours." Picard stated.

"Maybe you're right, but you could have been nicer."

"Agreed."

The episode ended and Q smiled at Picard, "Perhaps we see which of us is a merry man."

 **Author's Note: Glad to be finally putting this out there. I hope you can figure out what next chapter will be based on Q's comment. Because it was requested, but if you do decide to review. Tell me what other episodes you like to see. Thanks for reading everybody. 8D! Have a good day!**


	10. Qpid

Chapter **10: Qpid:**

 **Author's Note: Yes! Qpid is next as promised and hinted in the previous chapter. Hope you enjoy the fun! These aren't the easiest to write so I would very much appreciate some reads and reviews. I do not own Star Trek or any of the characters so please don't sue.**

The episode began with Picard talking about giving a speech at a keynote lecture then Troi walks in.

"One quick question," Q commented offscreen, "Why is she never in Starfleet regulation clothing?"

"She can wear whatever she likes." Riker replied.

"Then why couldn't I be naked?" Q complained.

"Because that's different Q."

"But why? She's showing off her girls so why can't I show off my guy."

"It's not the same Q. Now shut up before I make you."

"Don't tell me to shut up." Q muttered under his breath.

"I heard that!"

The episode continued with Troi telling Picard to relax. She leaves and Captain Picard returns to his quarters and studies an artifact. Then Vash appears and claims to have came through the window. Then seemingly out of nowhere the two kiss.

"Eww." Q commented. Beverly herself said nothing and she remained expressionless. It was unclear whether she was bothered or not.

"You're not going to say anything? He's your man after all." Q claimed to Dr. Crusher.

"His past is his past. There's no changing that." Dr. Crusher said truthfully seeming now quite unbothered.

The episode continued with the introduction. Then Picard was having tea with Vash when Dr. Crusher arrived at the door. Vash and Picard had met on Risa and Picard never mentioned her.

"Didn't that make you jealous?" Q asked.

"Nope." Dr. Crusher simply said and not another word was spoken.

Vash asks Dr. Crusher show her the ship and she walk into Ten Forward. Riker begins talking to Vash and Vash seems to know what he's about to say because of Picard's impersonations of him.

"Aren't you jealous Picard? Him trying to steal one of your many girls?" Q asked.

"Not at all. I'm no longer attracted to her."

"Yeh right. You just say that because there are two Crushers in the room."

"Q, I am not jealous."

"Whatever you say."

Riker takes over the tour and brings Vash to the bridge where she sits down on the captain's chair. Captain Picard walks in and offscreen Q raises an eyebrow.

"So she gets away with the crime of sitting in the captain's chair." Q commented.

"You better not try it too or we're going to have a problem." Picard replied.

"Whatever you say, captain."

The episode continued with Vash returning to her quarters. Then Vash and Troi talk and Vash discovers that the captain failed to mention her to anyone. Upset she goes to Captain Picard and demands answers. Picard claims for it to be inappropriate. Vash gets angry thinking Picard is embarrassed by her.

"Never very good with the ladies how mon capitane?" Q asked offscreen.

"Shut up, Q." Picard replied.

The episode continued with Picard going to the ready room where he is meet by Q. Q smiles offscreen glad to once again see himself in action. Picard asks Q why he is there and Q claims to have a life debt. Q won't leave until he has done something for Picard. Q offers to bring him to Tagus III but Picard refuses. Q gets upset about not being able to give a gift to Picard and leaves. Picard calls Riker in and tells him that Q just came.

Picard then visits Vash and Vash defends herself when Picard gets upset about her excavations. They argue and Picard goes to his quarters only to have Q appeared again. Q claims to know what the agruement was about and claims to know that Picard is being brought down by a woman. He then claims that if he had known sooner he would have appeared as a woman. Picard seems very annoyed to hear all this and tells Q to leave.

Q leaves and Picard begins his speech. Dr. Crusher and Troi find themselves in hats. Riker finds himself with a big walking stick. Data finds himself in an old robe. Picard soon finds himself as Robin Hood and then Picard and crew end up back in time in around the twelfth century according to Picard. Worf protests to being a marry man.

"Oh, I guess we found out who is not a merry man. Let's change that." Q said smiling. He turns Worf into his costume and Worf gives him "I'll rip your head off look." Q laughs and Worf punches him in the face. Q gives Worf and injured look before turning him back.

The episode continued with Data identifying the characters. Then a man comes for Picard slash Robin Hood and Worf rushes to fight him. Picard orders everyone into the forest and everyone eventually follows. The characters give up the chase on "Robin Hood" and Q shows up claiming that Vash needs to be rescued. Q refuses to end the fantasy.

Vash finds herself in the fantasy and is able to talk Sir Guy out of the execution. Meanwhile, Geordi is playing some sort of instrument. Worf goes to smash it out of annoyance.

"I can't believe you keep that brute. I mean poor tone deaf Geordi. Am I right?" Q asked.

"I don't really care anymore actually." Geordi admitted.

"You're no fun." Q claimed.

The episode continued with Troi practicing her archery. She accidently shoots Data and offscreen Q breaks out laughing. Troi looks embarrassed and frowns slightly.

"It's okay. Your aim was improving." Riker reassured just like Data in the episode.

The episode continued with Vash saying she had agreed to marry Sir Guy. Q looks completely shocked. Q tries to convince Sir Guy she's not what he wants only to fail. Picard comes to rescue Vash later only to be held back by questions. When the guards come, Vash pulls a sword on Picard and gets him arrested. Vash then tries to write a letter to the crew.

Q catches her in the act, but the crew come to the execution to save Vash and Picard. Data prepares the diversion and executes. The crew fight and Vash is taken away. Picard goes for Vash and rescues her. Q appears and takes Picard back to the Enterprise. Vash returns and tells Picard she's going with Q. Picard seems upset and makes Q promise to keep her safe. They kiss one last time and Vash the episode ends.

"You sure you're not jealous?" Q asked Dr. Crusher.

"Absolutely."

 **Author's Note: So how did you like it? Good? Bad? In between? Next chapter is going to be Yesterday's Enterprise unless you have any other suggestions. Don't forget to review.**


	11. Yesterday's Enterprise

**Chapter 11: Yesterday's Enterprise:**

 **Author's Note: I'm back with a brand new rap because I'm cool like that. Please read and review. I do not own Star Trek or the characters.**

The episode began with Guinan and Worf in Ten Forward. Guinan pushes Worf to try a drink. When Worf drinks it, she tells him it's prune juice. Offspring Q laughs at Worf calling it a warrior's drink.

"Who would have thought? Worf calling an Earth drink a warrior's drink." Q said laughing.

"But it is." Worf admitted causing Q to chuckle to himself. Picard shoots him a look causing him to stop.

The episode continued with Guinan telling Worf to seek out companionship. Worf claims that he needs a klingon woman and that Earth females are too fragile.

Q laughs, "Until Troi," and receives a death glare from Worf and Riker.

"Come on. That was funny." Q muttered to himself.

The episode continued with a strange wormhole and Worf being called to the bridge. They only get strange readings from the "wormhole". Another Enterprise comes through the wormhole and time seems to distort to an alternative time line in which Tasha is alive and the federation is at war with the klingons.

"I don't remember any of this." Picard said.

"None of you do except maybe Guinan." Q replied. "I would explain, but your feeble human brain won't be able to comprehend."

"I'm not stupid, Q."

"I'm not calling you stupid. Just limited."

The episode continued with Guinan noticing that everything changed. Then the scene chamge to the bridge where Tasha Yar identifies the ship as the USS Enterprise 1701-C. Then the introduction played. Data explains to Picard how he thinks the Enterprise C is there.

"Data always seemed to know all the answers." Q commented.

"Good observation, Q."

The episode continued with Picard refusing to alter the timeline and the Enterprise C sending out an audio distress signal. Picard finally agrees to help but only if they keep the time and place to themselves. Riker calls Yar to be on the team and they go to help the past Enterprise. Then they meet the captain and Castillo. They get orders from Picard and Guinan shows up on the bridge.

"The she devil finally makes the trip to the all mighty captain." Q said loudly with a voice filled with sarcasm.

"Shut up, Q." Picard ordered.

Q just rolled his eyes and the episode continued. Guinan tries to convince Picard that the Enterprise is a ship of peace. Then Picard meets the captain of the previous Enterprise who explains their mission to help the Klingons at the Neranda III outpost. Picard tells her that she had failed. Then Castillo and Tasha talk and Castillo worries that he would never recognize his family. After they talk, Picard and Data realize the Enterprise C would never make it through the battle.

"I would still listen to Guinan. Even if she is a- err Guinan." Q admitted.

"That's hard to believe. You never even listen to me." Picard replied.

"That's because you are boring. Why don't you listen to me?"

"That's because you're annoying."

"I'm not- touche captain."

The episode continued with Castillo and Tasha going to Sick Bay. They talk to the Enterprise C captain who is determined to help in any way she can and walks right out of Sick Bay. Picard then discusses with Guinan that he cannot in good conscience send them back to their doom. Guinan tells him that she is right and knows the only way for stuff to return to normal is for him to listen to her and return the Enterprise C to its own timeline. Guinan then returns to Ten Forward to see an alive Tasha Yar with Castillo. Picard then tries to convince the crew that they need to listen to Guinan.

"Why isn't Guinan here?" Q questioned.

"What?" Picard responded unsure as to what Q was asking.

"Why haven't we asked Guinan if she wants to see this? I mean, after all, she is a member of your crew."

"Then we will ask her for the next episode, Q."

The episode continued with Tasha worrying about what happened to Castillo. Then Picard tells the other captain what they need to do to restore time. Picard convinces her. Castillo and Tasha talk for a while and then suddenly an attack from a klingon bird of prey. The captain of the Enterprise C dies in the midst of the battle and Castillo says that he is willing to take the ship back himself. Picard agrees. Castillo and Tasha meet in the transporter room where they kiss for the first time.

"First the android and now a man from the past? She doesn't seem to be phased by typical limitations does she?" Q asked.

"Her business with romance is not the business of you, Q." Picard replied.

The episode continued with Guinan telling Tasha that she died an empty death. Tasha then visits the captain to request a transfer to the Enterprise C. When she says she's not supposed to be here, Picard orders her to sit down. She does and they talk. Picard is not convinced but Tasha refuses to take no for an answer and states that she does not want to die a senseless death. Picard finally grants her permission and she goes abroad the Enterprise C.

"So that's how Sela was born. If only she knew, how honorable her mother was." Picard commented.

"Then maybe she would be a security officer too or even maybe a Starfleet captain." Riker added.

"Maybe."

The last minutes of the episode continued with Tasha convincing Castillo to allow her to take tactical. He agrees and then klingon battleships appear. The Enterprise D protects the Enterprise C. The Enterprise C makes it through the rift and time is restored. Guinan asks if everything is alright and Picard acknowledges. The episode ends. Q smiles.

"So the day will come with Guinan watching the next Enterprise adventure with us." Q said smiling.

 **Author's Note: So next will probably be "Disaster". Unless you review and change my mind. And yes I will get to the movies eventually. So just please be patient.**


	12. Disaster

**Chapter 12: Disater**

 **Author's Note: I'm finally back. Here's another chapter. Hope you like it. I do not own Star Trek or any of the characters and never will. Please read and review.**

Picard walked down to Ten Forward to ask Guinan if she wanted to see Star Trek. He saw her standing there ready to take orders.

"Hello, captain. Can I get you something?" Guinan asked politely.

"Actually, I was here to ask you if you wanted to watch Star Trek with us." Picard said.

"No, thank you, captain. I've already seen all the episodes. Thanks for asking but I'm also busy here."

"Well the invitation is always open, if you change your mind."

Picard returned to his seat in Q's movie theater.

"She said no." Picard simply said.

"That's fine. We can watch it without her." Q replied.

The episode began with the captain's log saying they were on a needed break. Then in Ten Forward, O'Brian and Keiko were arguing over which name they were going to pick if it was a boy.

"To bad it was a girl." Q commented offscreen.

The episode continued with Dr. Crusher trying to get Geordi to sing a bit for a part in a play. Q laughed and laughed at Geordi's singing and laughed even more at his embarrassment. Worf got up and personally struck Q and Geordi smiled and mouthed "Thank you'.

The episode continued with Picard having to give some little kids a tour. O'Brian makes a comment on who he doesn't know to be more sorry for the captain or the kids. Offscreen, Q snaps his fingers for a drink just to sip and spit out while he was laughing.

"Q!" Picard exclaimed irritated. Q made a sly smile.

The episode continued with Picard in the elevator with the children who won the science fair.

Q smiled even wider, "Picard with children. How precious."

"Q just stop it."

The episode continued with the turbolift falling. The whole ship shook. On the bridge, they figured that they ran into a quantum filament. They struck another one and both the officer in charge of the bridge and the helmsman were violently tossed by the con exploding. Then the introduction played. The next scene was of Troi trying to reach anyone that was not on the bridge to no avail. Then they realized Lieutenant Monroe was dead. The scene then cut to the turbolift with Picard and the kids. He tries to convince them that nobody is dead and that they are not going to die. He then yells at them to stop crying making it all worse.

"Picard, you would make the worst babysitter who ever existed. Even I know that children require patience and here's you showing none of it." Q commented.

"Just watch the rest then and see how good I can be with children Q." Picard replied confidently.

The episode continued with the bridge crew trying to get help from other ships. Ro is found prying the turbolift doors open. Together they try to get systems back up and find that there is still life abroad the ship. The bridge crew realizes that Troi is in command.

"Troi as a captain? Who would have thought?" Q said mockingly.

"She makes a fine captain once you give her a chance." Riker replied.

"I doubt it." Q murmured and received a not so pleasant look from Riker.

The episode continued with Data and Riker deciding to take a trip to engineering. Worf is left in charge of Ten Forward. Kieko is shown mostly okay. The scene then cut to Crusher and Geordi trying to get our of the cargo bay. A plasma fire breaks out and Geordi worries that the stuff in the containers might explode. Picard makes the kids part of his crew with Melissa being number one.

"Oh now I see how great you can do with kids." Q said, "Perhaps you won't make such a terrible babysitter."

"Better than you." Picard said smugly. Q glared.

The episode continued with Riker and Data escaping a coolent leak. Then Geordi and Crusher realizing that the radiation is rising and that they have to move the containers to prevent an explosion. Then on the bridge they realize they don't have much time left till a explosion. Meanwhile Data suggests that they take off his head.

Q makes an intrigued look and smiles. Riker cringes slightly. Q gives him a look and Riker merely shakes his head speechless.

The episode continued with Data stepping into the electrical current. He is relatively unharmed as his positronic brain remains functioning. Meanwhile, Picard and the children plan on escaping the turbolift. Picard insists on staying behind, but the children wouldn't hear of it.

"Aww, they care about you." Q says smirking.

"Shut up, Q." Picard said sternly and Q rolled his eyes and obeyed.

The episode went on with Keiko realizing the baby is coming. Worf is not pleased. Meanwhile, Troi agrees with Cheif O"Brian to not separate the ship. Picard and the kids manage to escape the turbolift. Picard suggests a climbing song and the kids sing while they climb.

"Good job, Picard." Q praised.

"Thank you, Q." Picard replied.

The episode continued with Worf try to deliver Keiko's baby. Q laughed at Worf's ignorance. Worf sent a death glare to Q. Meanwhile, Geordi and Crusher try to get the containers out by opening up the cargo bay. They succeed. Meanwhile, Worf delivers Keiko's baby.

Q smiles, "That is cute."

Worf hits Q in the arm.

"Oww."

The episode continued with the kids giving Picard a hand made plague. Q smiles widely as Melissa and Riker both react to being called Number One. Then the episode ended. Q then prepares for next episode.

 **Author's Note: I'm thinking of doing "Time's Arrow" next. You may review to tell me what episode you want to see but don't forget to tell me if you liked this chapter. Please no more flames. I work hours to put this together. So please no flames.**


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